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U..IM TOPSY TURVY..

Nobody knows how am I feeling today.Neither have I told anyone nor have anyone even bother to ask. Kak Shana was busy with her work..Kak Roy still muching with her Printcorp guy and Kak Mas was still cant let go her eyes from her computer..Perhaps even if something real bad had happened to me today , no one would know.I hate a lot these feelings I am having right now. I am even afraid of the consequences of these feelings. Knowing me, I could give up without second thought. It did happened to some people I used to care before.I never wanted that to happen but sometimes I just could not help it.I gave up when my heart could not take it anymore. The agony that I have had to deal with is sometimes just too much. Even if I thought I could go through it all and handle it, in the end I collapsed. Maybe I said that I expect nothing after I have given my all but then I am nothing more human than anyone else and my heart is not mechanical. I could not deny that deep inside I seek for a little attention and care.That's all but perhaps to some, that is just too much to ask.Don't get me start about being patient.I tolerated,understood,gave in and sacrificed for patience. Sometimes I feel like I literally abused myself when I am being patient.In the course of being patient, often I am left dissapointed but I just keep my heart strong and hang in there.I do not blame anyone for these unpleasent feelings I am having.Maybe it is my fault that I feel this way.Maybe I should have cared for myself more cause in the end, when I am hurt, I found myself soothing the wound in my heart by myself.Even when I cried, I shed my own tears.I couldn't depend on anyone else for that,of course.You know, some may say that they do care and that they will always be there but that did not really happened.It is either they didn't mean what they said or I just didn't go and look for them when in need.This is when we should practice "say what you mean,mean what you say".Unfortunately, I don't see that happen all the time.I used to be dependent to those I could depend on but now I don't do that anymore.Even if they are dependable, for some reasons I just think it is better to stand on my own two feet no matter how hard it could be.

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WAH..Anugerah Skrin 2009..

wah da lme btol x tlis blog..
da lme btol x berdialog ngan kwn2..
hmm..mungkin dsbabkan kesibukan yg cam hanj..
terpaksa melupakn skjp berBLOGGING in..
well..ni just nk upload skit pic2 yg..
tergendalan..n beberapa caption utk..
setiap pic..hehe..enjoy..
ni pic sewaktu aku kne cover ASK09 (anugerah skrin 09)
bertempat di dewan PWTC..bertemakan ala2 arab..
Hikayat 1001 Malam..then aku pkai bju tido la..hehe..

ni pic sewaktu aku mintak WAN SHARMILA.. wish utk 4oth URTV..yg tengah tu unknown..

ni EIRMA TV3..thx to EIRMA..
yg pnting 1st time tgk EIRMA Egyptian..
haha..sgt2 cool2..
ni pic antara wartawan2 yg BEST..
bergambar bersama artis2..

APA YANG SAYA AMALKAN?

sebelum mencuci muka..
mahu ramai terpikat dengan kita?
dan sayang akan kita..
even clash pun masih lagi ada
yang nak kita balik..
amalkan..
bacaan 2 kalimah syahadah,
selawat 3 kali,
al-fatihah sekali,
ayat 3 kul sekali..
sebut nama panjang kita
berserta BIN atau BINTI..
dan sebutlah..
"ya allah ya tuhanku, ampunkan segala dosa ku,
dosa kedua ibu-bapaku,
serta muslimin muslimat mu yang lain,
samada yang masih hidup atau sudah meninggal dunia,

"ya allah berilah aku kesihatan yang baik,
naikkanlah segala cahaya seri seluruh tubuhku
yang engkau cipta dengan sempurna,
seseungguhnya aku mahu segala
cahaya seri tubuh badan dan wajahku
menyejukkan setiap mata yang memandang,
amin.."



then cuci muka dengan
barangan MUSTIKA RATU
makan jamu untuk bersih darah
dan segala toksin dalam badan :)
huhu.. then kalau boleh..
mandi guna shower..
mata kena buka..
baru bersinar then xyah pakai lens da..
poyo je pakai lens haha.. :P